You know You are a redneck if.......
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour
with
a fly swatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling
center.
Your boat has not left the driveway
in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You
think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back
and they don't want
it.
You come back from the dump with more than you
took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your
grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed
with flea and tick soap.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have used a rag for a gas cap.
Your
house doesn't have curtains but your truck
does.
You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
You
consider your license plate personalized
because your father made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You
have a complete set of salad bowls, and they
all say Cool Whip on the side.
You've used your ironing board as a
buffet table.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of
K-Mart.
Your neighbors think you're a detective
because a
cop always brings you home.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade
graduation because you had
jury duty.
